The Richard Spooner Column: Sobering thoughts from the bar�

The famous Fleet Street columnist, the late Keith Waterhouse, with whom I was privileged to share a few tinctures when printed newspapers were thriving, was famous for partaking in a regular long lunch.

But solids were never his priority. He often wrote that the worst words anyone could hear when meeting others for lunch were: “Shall we go straight in? ”

He would prefer, of course, to linger at the bar for as long as possible swopping stories and anecdotes while sampling the finest wines and/or aperitifs the host establishment could muster.

Lunch would be delayed for as long as possible and sometimes never actually happen.

So I imagine it would come as a disappointment for Keith to learn that this country 's major cities are allegedly vying for the title of the “most sober-friendly city ”.

It all appears to be the brainchild of Totiuss (pronounced toe-tee-us and derived from a Latin word meaning whole), which describes itself as a brand that promises to be “your alcohol free journey to a better you ”.

Their website explains: “Our unique 360 wellness coaching programme and alcohol-free community is design specifically for women. We take a holistic approach through addressing nutrition , fitness and mental health and wellbeing to ensure you have the knowledge and guidance to make positive life changes.

“Over 100 days, we will help you to build up new self-serving habits and help you to address your relationship with alcohol� ”

You get the picture, I 'm sure, but why men are excluded is not explained.

Totiuss conducted what they describe as “extensive research ” to find out the UK 's most sober-friendly city.

Analysis was carried out into the online drinks menus of bars in each of the UK 's major cities (London, Manchester, Birmingham, Bristol, Leeds and Liverpool).

It discovered that Manchester was the most sober-friendly city in the UK, with a bar called The Lawn Club offering the biggest selection of alcohol-free drink options. Thirteen per cent of its drinks menu offered alcohol-free versions, such as mocktails and zero per cent alcohol beer.

Birmingham languishes in third place with 10 per cent of the Botanist drinks menu offering the biggest selection of alcohol-free drink options. Liverpool is wedged between Manchester and Birmingham in the league table.

London was found to be the least sober-friendly city in the UK and in between were Leeds and Bristol.

It all seems to me a little pointless unless, of course, you are a lady who wants to escape the evil drink. And the research comes over as a little flimsy. Just because a certain bar has a certain percentage of alcohol-free drinks doesn 't make it the most sober.

Good luck if you are persuaded to take up this alcohol-free lifestyle.

I shall be waiting at the bar to see how you got on�

JL