Men's mental health: It’s not just good to talk, it’s essential

Written by Dr Danielle Grey, clinical psychologist at The Purple House Clinic

There can sometimes be a much bigger story behind the words, ‘I’m fine’. Perhaps it’s difficult to put your feelings into words, you don’t want to worry the people around you, or you simply don’t know where to begin.

Sometimes, saying ‘I’m fine’ can feel like the easiest way to keep difficult thoughts and emotions at a distance, even though, underneath it all, you’re finding things much harder than you’re letting on.

Men’s mental health has received growing attention in recent years, and rightly so. More men are speaking openly about their struggles, public campaigns are challenging outdated stereotypes, and conversations about mental wellbeing are becoming more common. However, the statistics show that there is still a long way to go. Men are three times more likely to die by suicide in England than women (Suicides in England, Samaritans, 2023).

Many men grow up with messages that masculinity means being stoic, emotionally restrained, tough, independent and self-reliant. This can leave men feeling they should deal with things alone, rather than sharing how they really feel. Creating space for men to be honest about their emotions and reminding them that asking for support is not a weakness can help challenge these expectations and make it easier to reach out for support.

Walking through the door into therapy

The truth is, everyone experiences difficult periods in life, and needing support is not a weakness. Talking about feelings, sharing concerns, or asking for help can be an important step towards understanding what you are going through and finding a way forwards.

Even when we recognise the value of talking to someone, taking the initial step can be blocked by anxieties. Uncertainty about what to expect, shame that you’ve had to ask for support, belief ‘my problem isn’t big enough’ or anxieties about connecting with those difficulties you have worked so hard to avoid or manage.

Walking through the door into therapy can be tough. Therapy can be uncomfortable yet, on the other hand, it provides a safe space to reflect on your experiences and navigate life's challenges. The therapist will take time to listen, understand the reasons for making the brave decision to ask for support and works with you to reach your goals.

Starting the conversation

Talking about mental health will not solve every problem, but it can be the beginning of meaningful change. Seeking support is a sign of courage. It takes strength to acknowledge that something is difficult and to make the decision to do something about it.

A conversation with a friend, family member, colleague, GP or therapist can remind us that we do not have to face life's challenges alone. If you have been thinking about seeking support, remember you do not need to wait until things get worse. Reaching out is one of the most important steps you can take for your wellbeing because it's not just good to talk – it's essential.

If you need mental health support reach out to your GP or a qualified mental health professional.