The Richard Spooner Column: Welcome to the Hotel Quarantine�
As I take over this week 's column while Mr Spooner travels down to Somerset, I have been pondering the likelihood of my own holiday plans going ahead this year.
With a trip to Santorini expected to roll over from 2020, I have found myself scrambling for information in the minefield that is the Government 's traffic light system.
In light of Covid, the new system introduced a green, amber and red list of countries, with each colour meaning different rules around testing and quarantining.
Whilst green list countries only require a negative test, those in amber and red demand a multitude of testing and a bill of £1,750 per person for a stay in the 'Quarantine Hotel '.
Most devastatingly for us Brits, one of the countries currently in the no-go zone is Spain.
For those privy to the popular sitcom Benidorm, you will know that Spanish holiday resorts are the number one destination for us wrinkly skinned, British sun worshippers.
In fact in 2019 alone, the country welcomed some 18 million UK visitors, accounting for a large chunk of the whopping £62.3 million spent by British holiday makers in that year.
While the German tourist is well-known for rising at the crack of dawn to reserve a sun lounger, there are many tell-tale signs that will stand a Brit out from the crowd.
Before setting foot on the plane, Brits can be found downing pints in an airport Wetherspoons regardless of the ungodly hour.
After dropping off the suitcases, at the top of the agenda is seeking out the closest Guinness-serving bar, owned and frequented by British people alike and serving the best fish and chips in town.
Underestimating the sun yet again, the Brit sees out the remainder of their holiday with third-degree sunburn, never forgetting to collect a souvenir fridge magnet for Grandma at home.
Laugh as you might, but it turns out we British tourists are greatly missed across the ghost town resorts we once flocked to, with some locals confessing “We need the Brits! ”.
Unfortunately for all those involved, the traffic light system has done little to confirm the fate of our beloved summer holidays. We 're in a state of 'Holiday Hokey Cokey ', if you will.
While some will follow in Mr Spooner 's footsteps and take to the seaside towns we know and love, it is undeniable that many of us are still yearning that gust of warm airplane air that comes with travelling abroad.
Nevertheless, holiday destinations across Europe can rest assured that the Brits will one day return in full force.
Until such a time, long live the British tourist.
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